Liverpool- West Ham: Drive By Thoughts

Posted on September 19, 2009

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All my attention will be focused on the football (American) game between Louisville and Kentucky.  As a UofL fan, it’s my duty to watch, even though all the signs point to a thrashing of monumental proportions by an in-state rival that, 5 years ago, looked like it might never get closer than 30 to us.  Still, with Liverpool- West Ham on Fox Soccer Channel at the same time, I can’t resist flipping over from time to time to check out the action.

28:00- I’ve chosen a good time to tune in.  Jamie Carragher dry humps a West Ham player in the box and a penalty is awarded.  Diamanti slips but still finishes the penalty.  It’s 1-1, now equalized against a Liverpool goal I’ve missed.  In my imagination it’s a fantastic strike by Gerrard from distance.  In reality it’s probably a Dirk Kuyt poach or Youssi Benayoun doing Youssi Benayoun things.

2nd quarter, 3.57- Ky loves these shallow drag routes across the middle.  4th and short and the UK fullback John Connor runs it to the two, then finishes it off with a touchdown on the next play.  Think he’s tired of the ‘Terminator’ references he’s heard?  UK 17, UL 7.  Switch.

35- yellow card against Julien Faubert, and a free kick awarded from 24 yards.   Gerrard drives it into the wall, which means that his shot and Cristiano Ronaldo’s Porsche now have something in common.

37- how do you pronounce West Ham’s shirt sponsor?  It’s spelled “Sbobet”.  Does it sound like ‘sherbet’?

2nd  quarter, 2:14- Vic Anderson stopped on 3rd down close to halftime, and Louisville will have to punt.  Great tackle by Doug Beaumont on the punt to prevent another special teams disaster from developing.  So far, UL hasn’t looked half-bad and UK has hardly lit the world on fire.  If Steve Kragthorpe’s strategy is to get the fans hopes up before crushing them in his sweaty palms, it’s working.

45- I’ve missed two goals.  The West Ham equalizer is courtesy of Carlton Cole heading in froma corner.  I’ll have to go to the ESPN Gamecast to figure out who got the Liverpool goals.

46- Torres butchers a challenge on Hines.  It’s a combination tackle/trip that ends up looking like a figure skater falling on their partner.

2nd quarter, :16- Because of a clock operator error, the clock never starts on a Hartline completion.  The official rules that 15 seconds must run outtime runs out on the half.  The camera catches Rich Brooks using some grown up words, and also gets a shot of Kragthorpe running by the official and thanking him for saving Kragthorpe’s coaching career.

Halftime’s over, and while I was making a phone call, Louisville miraculously has a field goal and is threatening to score again.  My dad’s summary:  Scott Long almost runs back a kickoff, Derrick Locke breaks a kickoff return of his own  but fumbles, and after a long bomb to Long from Justin Burke, Louisville can’t punch it in.  Ryan Payne misses the field goal, and I start to weep like a baby.

73- Still 2-2 in the Liverpool-West Ham game.  I sense that it will stay that way.

79- I’m wrong, of course.  Liverpool gets another goal, and I’ve now missed every one of their scores in this game.  If I don’t watch another second of this game it could get ugly.  For West Ham’s sake I’ll try to keep flipping back and keep the bloodshed at a minimum

3rd quarter 5 mins- Ryan Payne drills a 42 yarder.  ‘Drills’ is the wrong adjective, since from 45 yards this puppy would be short and I’d be screaming about how he’s only a barefoot kicker because he’s poor and an orphan.  Needless to say, I’m glad it went in so that my worse side will stay leashed up for now.

83- Time running out for West Ham.  A free kick is nodded out by a West Ham Player.

3rd quarter 4:51- Louisville gives up another huge play on a kickoff return.  UofL’s special teams has the mobility of a set of foosball players.  Fortunately Hartline fumbles the ball on a designed QB option, and Louisville has new momentum.  Now I have to give up on the West Ham-Liverpool game.

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