Bobby Zamora- I Never Want To See You Again! Are We Still On For Saturday?

Posted on December 23, 2009


Break-ups are always tough, but that goes double if there’s a major fight involved.  The gloves come off.  Age-old grievances that have buried themselves, sometimes for years, suddenly spring to awful and hilarious life.  “You never remember our anniversary!” “You cried during ‘Muppets Take Manhattan’ ” “You smell like Vernor’s!”  and so on.  It’s terrible.  But the only thing more  awkward than a horrible “air-it-all-out” break-up is if the couple decides to get back together again.  Then it’s really awkward.   Everything is out there now- what that person actually thinks about your quirks, insecurities, hygiene and personality.  What’s left to say?  “I didn’t really mean it, baby.  It was the hurt doing the talking.”  Good luck getting that ostrich to fly.

Fulham has seen it’s own version of this play out.  Bobby Zamora, for the bulk of his Fulham career, endured some rough stretches of games, culminating in that terrible point-blank miss against Manchester City.  That was the tipping point.  The break-up was on.  Words were said- harsh words, words of frustration and anger, words that Bobby no doubt couldn’t ignore.  “You can’t shoot.  We’re done.  I never want to see you again.”  The fans had spoken. 

But a funny thing happened.  Before the fans could go to eHarmony and fill out a profile looking for a new forward, Bobby started scoring goals.  Lots of them, and in spectacular ways.  Sometimes he carried the entire team, as in the must-win Basel game for Europa League advancement.  Now it’s hard to argue that there’s a hotter striker playing in the Premiership right now than Bobby- he’s getting props from teammates, from coaches, from media outlets that previously had stopped writing about him because they ran out of synonyms for ‘bum’, and even a little face-time for an England call-up.   

So what happens now?  Of course the fans dig Bobby again- scoring in bunches can go a long way towards reconciling things.  Yet the words are out there.  Bobby knows they were said, and the fans know they said them.  Heck, when he first started this little hot streak, I sarcastically remarked, “I just hope this doesn’t affect his hold-up play.”  But where does this go from here?  Our fickle hearts have revealed themselves.  How do two parties reconcile that?

For his part, Bobby can’t actually believe that he could go on scoring goals twice a year and not get some heat for it, regardless of the more esoteric qualities of his game that typically go unappreciated.  And the fans must work harder to understand the reasons why a manager as skillful as Roy Hodgson would continue to play Bobby, long after it became apparent that his shooting touch has no Midas quality about it.  So I say, subtlety, brothers- let the masses clamor after one dimensional goal scorers.  We’ll try and appreciate what we have. 

Countless players have fallen out with the paying customer, only to find themselves back in the embrace, thanks to a timely goal or a clutch performance.  Time really does heal all wounds.  But suddenly scoring goals can’t hurt.

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