Meet Stefano Okaka (Digitally)

Posted on February 4, 2010


While some people may have already met new Fulham striker Stefano Okaka courtesy of yesterday’s Portsmouth match (and formed an immediate judgment based on his off-target shot on goal from roughly the same distance as from me to my kitten/bunny rabbit wall calendar), I know that some of you have not. And of course, naturally you were hoping you could get a feel for Mssr. Okaka via a Youtube highlight video that’s so quiet, it’s like watching the game in a library. I can help you there. Heck, if you can’t find a highlight video on YouTube for someone that’s set to some kind of trance mix, there’s a good chance you’re looking for highlights on John Quincy Adams.

Most of the highlights appear to be from youth matches and exhibitions and so forth, which is like putting together a chess highlight video of me playing four year olds (non-prodigies, of course). Still I think it takes the excitement level most Fulham fans feel from Cautiously Optimistic to Borderline Aroused. I know I peed on a few things. If you can’t get excited about a 6’1 rocket-fueled Afro Italian, what can you get up for?

I wish we could fast-forward to the end so we’ll know how his career ends up and can save our hoping energy in case it doesn’t pan out. Sadly life doesn’t work that way. I will say that the three words I heard most often to describe Okaka since he arrived in London are ‘young’, ‘raw’ and ‘promising’. You know what else is young, raw and promising? A Big Mac.  I think I rest my case.

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