Meet Stefano Okaka (Digitally)

Posted on February 4, 2010

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While some people may have already met new Fulham striker Stefano Okaka courtesy of yesterday’s Portsmouth match (and formed an immediate judgment based on his off-target shot on goal from roughly the same distance as from me to my kitten/bunny rabbit wall calendar), I know that some of you have not. And of course, naturally you were hoping you could get a feel for Mssr. Okaka via a Youtube highlight video that’s so quiet, it’s like watching the game in a library. I can help you there. Heck, if you can’t find a highlight video on YouTube for someone that’s set to some kind of trance mix, there’s a good chance you’re looking for highlights on John Quincy Adams.

Most of the highlights appear to be from youth matches and exhibitions and so forth, which is like putting together a chess highlight video of me playing four year olds (non-prodigies, of course). Still I think it takes the excitement level most Fulham fans feel from Cautiously Optimistic to Borderline Aroused. I know I peed on a few things. If you can’t get excited about a 6’1 rocket-fueled Afro Italian, what can you get up for?

I wish we could fast-forward to the end so we’ll know how his career ends up and can save our hoping energy in case it doesn’t pan out. Sadly life doesn’t work that way. I will say that the three words I heard most often to describe Okaka since he arrived in London are ‘young’, ‘raw’ and ‘promising’. You know what else is young, raw and promising? A Big Mac.  I think I rest my case.

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